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We will challenge men with building close friendships with other men.

Message from Marsh: “Blessings on each man who will seriously consider the friendships he now has and the friendships that will help him move forward spiritually in his life.”

Marsh

Founder/President

Thank you for coming to: mensgroup.org

CRITICAL ISSUES for Men

Lesson 2 – Close Friendships

(www.mensgroup.org – “Original Study”)

PRAY: A suggested opening prayer for small group members or individuals to invite God to connect as we seek Him in his Word. Feel free to add your own words, “in prayer.”

Father, You are our friend that sticks closer than a brother, and we want to have friends that honor all You have done for us. Help us to consider the following elements to the building of friendships that will last and uplift each other.

OPENING QUESTIONS:

1. Talk about a person with which you have built a friendship in the past?

2. What special came of that friendship?

Admiration Passage: After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself…Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow, and his belt (1 Samuel 18:1, 4).

Admiration: Jonathan gave signs of admiration to David after Goliath’s death. He gave him his robe, tunic, sword, bow and belt. His robe was a sign of his position in the kingdom as son of the king, a link to royalty and distinction. David’s clothing would have been drenched in the blood of Goliath and Jonathan’s robe was unspotted. He treated David with this as a sign of equality of position. The tunic was a special undergarment for protection, but he was willing to give it to David to help keep him safe. His sword and bow were his offensive weapons and suggested agility, strength, and readiness. All were gifts from Jonathan to David because of his respect for him.

Loyalty Passage: Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father and said to him, Let not the king do wrong to his servant David; he has not wronged you, and what he has done has benefited you greatly…Why then would you do wrong to an innocent man like David by killing him for no reason? (1 Samuel 19:4, 5b).

Loyalty: Jonathan was loyal to his friend David, even when his own father was seeking to kill him. Jonathan reasoned with his father, the king, related to the good David had done for him. He put his own life on the line to protect David from false statements and assumptions made about him.

Honesty Passage: Then David fled from Naioth at Ramah and went to Jonathan and asked, What have I done? What is my crime? How have I wronged your father, that he is trying to kill me? Never! Jonathan replied. You are not going to die!...But David took an oath and said to Jonathan, Your father knows very well that I have found favor in your eyes…Yet as surely as the Lord lives and as you live, there is only a step between me and death (1 Samuel 20:1-3).

Honesty: David and Jonathan had a relationship where they trusted the honesty of the other. They used each other as a sounding board to hear their own words, identify blind spots, and express their own feelings freely. Honesty led both to secure a plan that would reveal the truth about King Saul’s feelings concerning David. Nothing was unsaid and each could be trusted.

Encouragement Passage: Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. Don’t be afraid, he said. My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this. (1 Samuel 23:16-17).

Encouragement: There were ups and downs in their lives influenced by the circumstances that surrounded them. Jonathan encouraged David when he was afraid and had lost his strength. He said he did not want the kingdom and that David was sure to become the next king of Israel. This comfort made David hold on to the dream placed in him when anointed by Samuel.

Admiration leads to loyalty and a deepening of friendship. Loyalty leads to honesty so essential to take one step deeper in the relationship. It was also recognized by both men that encouragement in the hard times would be necessary to keep the relationship strong.

Admiration, loyalty, honesty and encouragement help in the process of friendship development. Too often we miss these or they are abused in friendships which leads to lack of trust and the breakdown of friendship. It all fits into the framework of what is called accountability. See the suggested additional resources below.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

1. How do you treat your close friends, as an equal, willing to give what you own to them, if necessary?

2. What struck you about David and Jonathan’s friendship?

3. What are your thoughts concerning Jonathan’s gifts, honesty, and loyalty to David?

APPLICATION:

1. Who do you know that you would like to build a closer friendship to?

2. How would you show admiration, loyalty, honesty and encouragement to them?

3. Which of these four areas would be the hardest for you to develop?

CLOSING PRAYER:

Father, as men we tend to keep to ourselves and shy away from deeper friendships with other men to be loyal to, honest with, and who could encourage us. Help us to remove the barriers in our mind so that we can build friendships that make us stronger and more spiritual.

Suggested Additional Resources:

On the mengroup.org website, under “Free Bible Studies -> Extended Studies” there is a 4-lesson study on Accountability. It is easy to go through and helpful in finding a person to help you with accountability. Take a look: https://www.mensgroup.org/accountability-study

Continue to Lesson 3 – Morality

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