Some people live life in a "gray world" without God. They are trying to live "life on the average" without getting too high or too low. They don't live "in the light" and try to avoid the "darkness".  I believe when people do this, they end up just enduring life rather than living life to the fullest. Life's reality is that we will experience time in the "light" and time in the "darkness".

Pain, loss and sorrow are a part of being human and living our life on earth. Happiness and joy are also a part of our human experience. Life in reality is a series of mountain top experiences and deep valley events.

I have written of the "Gray World" from my own personal experiences but recently discovered Scripture that sounds familiar. Revelation 3:15-16 says;

15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you either one or
the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm, - neither hot nor cold --- I am about to
spit you out of my mouth.    -  NIV

If you try to live "life on the average", you are trying to suspend yourself in an unnatural world created "by you" and "not God". To me, this is like living a slow death on earth. With God by our side, we have the strength to endure what life brings us, especially peace in times of great loss and pain.

Note. We are proud to offer a short Bible study guide, "Do You Live Life In A "Gray World" Without Trusting God?" that corresponds with this discussion topic.  (CLICK HERE TO BE TAKEN TO THAT STUDY)  

I have written below about the gray world and the foolishness of trying to protect ourselves by living an "Average Life".  Feel free to read the poems and discuss what they mean to you.


My Gray World

I want to feel pain of the past
I want to feel fear of the future
I want black back in my life
I want white light in my eyes

I want to feel pain in my
heart but peace in my soul
I want to survive the darkness, to soar in the light again

I must escape the
death of a gray world

Gray is a mixture of
black and white
An average of two
extreme colors  

We cannot live
"life on the average"

Life is not average
Life can be painful
Life is hopeful

We are "not average"
We are created
"uniquely" by God

Live in the darkness
of life's reality

Or accept the brightness
of His Love

God's Love is never gray

04/20/2000 Men's Group


I wrote the poem above during
a Men's Small Group meeting
in early 2000. I was trying to
find my way after losing my
wife Arlene to cancer. 

I was discovering you can't  
survive in life by trying
avoiding pain and loss, 
it is a part of life.

Life on the Average

Do you live 
“life on the average”?

Avoiding great pain or 
excessive pleasure
Living safely in order 
to survive

If your answer is yes,
you are not living life
You are only trying to exist
You are already dead

Was man created for 
a normal existence?

Does my survival depend 
on average events?
Is human life derived 
from an average equation?

Frequently living involves 
surviving enormous pain
Living brings 
Living entails 

Average statements,
I think not

Are you feeling the pains 
and tribulations of living?
Experiencing stark realities 
of your personal journey? 
Feeling exalted by the 
love of being alive?

If your answer is “yes”, 
you are human
You are alive,
not dead

Life is freedom,
to love 

Love is a choice,
to live,

Embrace love,
and live in eternity

An average statement, 
absolutely not  

02/14/2000 Memphis Hotel

Early Morning Thoughts

Words enter freely from
thoughts deep of mind
Words arrive representing
visions of my mind’s thoughts
Words appear to symbolize
the conflict of reality
versus visions of hope

I am alive and therefore
eligible for pain

I am alive and
thus opento Love

I am alive and hence
ready to be saved

I am dead in many ways

Dead from life’s
previous sinful nature
Dead from Satan’s
alluring promises
Dead from living an
average life

How can I be both
alive and dead?

How can I exist in  
darkness and light?
How can I live in the
light and the dark?

I am alive because I
feel both pain and love

I am alive because I
continually strive
Strive to reside in the light
Strive to escape the dark

I am alive because, 
I choose to live

I am alive because,  
pure existence is
not an option

I am alive because I
avoid the trap of an
average existence

An average life
is not living
An average life
dies from within
An average life is
the color of gray

An average life feels
neither the light of love
nor the pain of darkness

Gray is the color,
of my coffin

12/15/02 Random poem
in Agoura, CA

The Wanderer

He Always traveling somewhere

Always moving
Moving forward
Moving backward
Moving in circles
Never stopping
Never pausing

Never slowing down
Too slow to sense the wind,
too fast to feel the sun

Blurred images of
forgotten landscapes
Forgotten memories
of good times
Lost images of painful times  
Bright colors muted by
constant motion

Life speeding by, 
scarcely felt or lived

For the wanderer,
gray becomes the
"color of choice"

Gray, neither bright nor dark
Gray, neither white or black
Gray, a deadly color I think

Gray is created
by speeding images

Gray brilliantly masks
an empty existence

Gray, the perfect color
to camouflage a
wanderer’s journey

04/16/00Flying Atlanta
to Memphis


Wandering Again

I am wandering again

Moving forward, 
Moving backward,
Moving in circles,

Why do I still wander?

Haven’t I asked for directions?
Haven’t I prayed for guidance?

I have given my
heart and soul to You
Expecting my
to cease
Expecting peace

But, I haven’t accepted
Your Will
Same ole’ story, 
fight and resist 

God, please help me!
Help me to let go
Help me to trust
Never to ever
wander again


God does
not wander

04/19/00 Calvary Church, 
San Diego

Running in Place

We have all heard 

of running in place
Personally doing it at
one time or another
Moving our feet but
staying in one place
Expending energy to
remain stationery

Why would people
run in place?

There are several reasons:

Waste a little time
Maybe get in shape
Avoid making decisions
Avoid burning extra energy
Delay going somewhere or someplace

Running in place is
neither running nor resting
Actually, the average of the two
Neither coming nor going
Neither moving forward
nor retreating

Why would anyone want
to do that?

Sounds a little like
neither living nor dying
Living in an unreal
suspended world

I don’t think that is good

We all need to go
someplace sometime

Moving forward keeps us alive
Movement sustains us

In the end we either
live or die

Certainly not, 
running in place

05/20/2000 In the Midwest